Frequesntly Asked Questions
⚠️ READING THIS FAQ MAY INCREASE CHAOS ⚠️
Are these actually functional or just a dumb joke?
Both. Shockingly, they work extremely well AND are dumb.
We refused to make something that was only funny for 3 seconds and then lived in a junk drawer forever.
What are they made of?
High-grade TPU — a flexible, extremely durable material used in real engineering applications.
In human terms: bendy, tough, grippy, and very hard to kill.
Will it break?
If you use it normally, no.
If you attach it to a rocket, feed it to a wood chipper, or attempt to fight a raccoon with it… results may vary.
Are these appropriate gifts?
For the right person: absolutely.
For your boss at a corporate HR luncheon: probably not.
For groomsmen, golf buddies, bartenders, and chaos goblins: perfect.
Why does this exist?
Because life is short, adulthood is weird, and serious products are boring.
Also because someone had to do it.
Where are these made?
Designed and made in a spare bedroom in Tucson, Arizona — not a mysterious overseas megafactory.
Yes, this is a real small business run by a real human.
Do you ship internationally?
Shipping options depend on Etsy’s checkout.
If your country allows novelty chaos devices, you’re probably good.
Bulk orders?
Yes. Groomsmen gifts, tournaments, parties, questionable corporate events — we’ve seen it all.
Free shipping kicks in at $35 because we like you.
Are you serious about the charity thing?
Yes. A portion of revenue (including shipping and taxes) is donated to the Testicular Cancer Foundation.
Every $1,000 in revenue triggers a donation.
Humor is fun. Helping people is better.
5% OF ALL REVENUE GOES TO THE TESTICULAR CANCER FOUNDATION
💛 BECAUSE REAL BALLS MATTER 💛